Tuesday, November 1, 2016

God's Grace is Always Greater

If your motherhood load is 1, or 3, or 8 today, God's grace is greater than your job.

If you are pushing against the force of another week, God's grace is greater.

If you woke up in a bad mood, God's grace is greater.

If you can't break habitual sin, God's grace is greater.

If you don't like your kids today, God's grace is greater.

If you can't resist the lure of laziness, God's grace is greater.

If you wish you had any other job right now, God's grace is greater.


God's grace is sufficient enough for our tasks, redeeming of our failings, transforming of our attitudes, and abundant enough to always surpass our expectations. God's grace is always greater

Wednesday, October 5, 2016

The Advantages of Kids

I often think back on those blissful pre-kid days. The ones where I controlled my time, my body, and even my mind. Those days are long gone, but in the rough-and-tumble trials of parenthood, it helps to take a moment to remember that it's not without advantages.

The Advantages of Having Kids:
  1. Those times when you "can't get a babysitter:" It's the perfect excuse to skip any social events you just don't want to attend: Your second cousin's second wedding? I'm sure that night will prove impossible to find a babysitter. That high school play you can't wait to miss? Sorry, all the grandmas are busy that night.
  2. Get to do all those awesome kid activities again: slip n slides, trampolines, trips to the zoo, amusement park rides, swimming pools, coloring books, and sports are all socially acceptable again.
  3. Reading your own books can be categorized as setting a good example for your kids: It's true that kids who see their parents reading, read more, so read away! Sit those kids down with their own stack of books and declare it reading time for the whole family!
  4. Chores: two words: free labor. Enough said.
  5. The perfect excuse not to clean: It's Saturday, and you really should clean your house. Outside the sun is shining and the leaves are ablaze with fall. Never fear! Your kids have to get outside! A trip to the orchard, zoo, park, or arboretum is obviously in order. In fact, it's your job. Go ahead and neglect your home. You've got a free ticket for fun! The weather is awful? No problem--I'm sure your kids are dying to check out a Saturday afternoon movie. Don't fret, you need some family time.
  6. Stranger Sympathy: Oh, you mean you have 3 kids? 6 kids? All boys? All girls? 2 under 2? 3 under 3? You must be SO busy. Let me get the door for you. You can go ahead in the Target line. Your life must be so difficult. Yeah, all those things may be true, but it's great to hear them, right? The world knows, this job ain't easy! Enjoy the respect and admiration of strangers and friends alike!
  7. The LOVE: Yeah, it's cheesy, but kids love to love their parents. There's nothing quite like the unprompted kiss on the cheek or sweet, unexpected "love you." Parents get the benefit of that cute-as-a-button, pure-faced affection. It might be hard work, but. That. love. It's worth wading through the waters of sleepless nights and endless fights. Despite all our imperfect parenting, those babies love us with all our their mighty, little hearts. Don't ever forget it!


I'm with you, having kids is always hard work, BUT, it's not without it's benefits! Take a moment to read an extra chapter today, shirk some cleaning for fun, or better yet, force your kids to do it! You're a parent, you can. 

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

Dear Angry Toddler: A Letter of Repentance

Dear Angry Toddler,
I know that you don't hate me.
I know that you may actually prefer to be naked and free.
I know that putting on clothes may make you feel hindered and uncomfortable.
I also know that you may just be grasping for control wherever you can find it.

Dear Angry Toddler,
I'm so sorry.
I get so angry when you make my life less than easy.
I get so angry when you won't just listen and obey me.
I get so angry when I wonder if another mom could do this better than me.
I get so angry when I wonder if after giving you all of myself, you don't even like me.

Dear Angry Toddler,
I'm sorry that you see your anger reflected back in me.
We are cut from the same cloth.
We are both carrying the deepest need of serving the all-mighty me.
We are both sinners, and we hurt each other daily.

Dear Angry Toddler,
Please forgive me.
May the mercy I constantly receive begin to flow over to you when you are angry.
May I be an instrument of Jesus in your times of need.
May I set aside self to servant-lead.
May I lead you to Jesus, and his mercy seat.

Dear Angry Toddler,
We have the same need.


Jesus, forgive us and take the lead. 

Thursday, June 2, 2016

A Happy Birthday for Mom?

Last Thursday was my birthday. I turned 31--pretty awesome, right? Yeah, no need to congratulate me. Since I became a mom almost five years ago, birthdays haven't been the best. There's really nothing to look forward to, right? Unless my husband whisks me away for an unexpected trip sans kiddos, a birthday is just another day of work. The needs of my children don't vanish for the day so I can lay in bed all day watching movies. Even my dreams of the perfect birthday have been diminished to something as mediocre as watching movies!

If I get really honest with myself, even before motherhood, birthdays were often a let down. I have always expected to get everything I wanted on my birthday, and it pretty much never happened. I think I cried at every birthday party I had as a kid, usually because another child added "cha-cha-cha" to the birthday song when I had specifically requested no "cha-cha-cha's," or something equally horrifying.

Motherhood has only heightened the tension between birthday expectations and birthday realities. A day spent doing whatever you want whenever you want with whoever you want when you're a mom…it's an oxymoron. By definition, the majority of our lives as mothers is spent worrying about what our little people want and need. For years this felt like a death sentence on my birthday happiness, but not anymore.

This year, I decided to give myself a Happy Birthday by choosing to find happiness in whatever I needed to do that day. To celebrate turning 31 I made breakfast, read my Bible, went child shoe shopping and only managed to find 1 of 3 necessary pairs, changed diapers, ate lunch with my boys and MIL at Panera, put a son down for a nap, got a surprise gift of a kiss and an I Love You from my preschooler, helped a toddler stay in his room during quiet time, packed for the cabin, let my sons watch a TV show while at Noodles for dinner, entertained children in the car for 3 hours, received gifts and ate cake and let my boys stay up way too late once we arrived at the cabin, and even managed a few chapters of a book.

It was an average day of motherhood, but this quiet little life of mine is a gift. There's plenty of happiness and celebration to be found in these little people I serve. It might not be everything I imagine I would want to do, but it could be enough. Enough to be a Happy Birthday. 

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

Why Not Getting What I Wanted was the Best Thing for Me

We put our house on the market last week. As I prepared the house to list, I encountered countless stories of quick sales. Apparently we are in a seller's market where houses on the market receive multiple offers in only a few days. I was delighted. I couldn't imagine keeping my house "showing ready" for weeks with my 3 busy bodies. I was confident. We have a pretty standout home; I knew it would sell quickly. We planned to be out of the house except to sleep for the entire weekend. Then we had one showing the entire weekend. One.

I'll admit it: I tantrummed. I know why my kids do it--a little tantrum can feel really good. I wallowed. I cried. I laughed with exasperation. This was not what I expected.

Sunday night God got to me. If you're new here, be prepared to hear me talk a lot about what happens when life doesn't meet our expectations. New friends and old, I didn't get what I expected and I'm not proud of my reaction. But I take this comfort: it didn't last all that long. God really is getting to my heart on this. I'm quicker to turn back from my disappointments than I was before. On Sunday night, he taught me a little equation:

God's Sovereignty + His Love for me = the Best for Me

It's kind of like a proof in geometry. Remember proofs? I'm sorry if you hated math, just stick with me. If God is sovereign, and he loves me, and he works all things together for my good, and I didn't get what I wanted, then not getting what I wanted was the best thing that could happen to me.

Do I know why this was best for me? Nope. I once thought there was a perfect little lesson for every disappointment. When I didn't get what I wanted, I aimed to discover the lesson asap. Learning the lesson was my tool to motivate God to give me the thing I wanted. 

I know some of you might be thinking, but she didn't lose a friend, a mother, a child. That silly non-geometry proof is too simple for my complicated and painful situation. I get it, this is just a little, minor want of mine that I didn't get. Yet it's these little things, these minor unfulfillments where we step up and trust God's equation, that weave faith deep into the fabric of our hearts. Then when we walk through the shadows, our faith may waver, but it will not fall. Not because we are faithful, but because we know that He is.

I'm glad I didn't get what I wanted, because I know it's God's best for me. I don't have a perfect lesson to tell you, I just have faith in a sovereign God who does what's best for me. 

Monday, April 18, 2016

We Decided to Sell our Forever House for an Old Dream

For a lot of people who know me, and know me well, this is going to be a surprise. Five years ago, we moved into our Forever Home. We couldn't believe how blessed we were to hit the market at the perfect moment to buy the home we wanted to live in for the rest of our lives. We unpacked and really settled in. We spent hours making the style just right for us. We let our mothers pass along all of our childhood boxes. We were here to stay. Forever.

Two and half years ago, a few unrelated events got us thinking. Well, not really us, mostly my husband. His dream, from his small-town childhood, was to own some land and animals. I grew up on a family farm and loved the experience. We put that dream aside when we realized how expensive it would be to make it a reality while staying within the Minneapolis area. He was certainly a little more sad about it than I was at the time. I got my dream home--my Forever Home--out of the deal. I was content here, and he was working on it. But slowly life circumstances got him dreaming again (I knew he was a dreamer when I married him, so I shouldn't have been surprised). At first when he started talking about a family farm again, I was 100% against it. I hate change. I love financial security. I was in my Forever Home!

Then we got pregnant with our third boy and the family farm idea became significantly more appealing. But the decision felt too monumental. I didn't have the resources to make such a life-shifting, game-changing decision for our family. I remembered that Wes and I had established guidelines, called core values,  for how we would make decisions for our family shortly after our wedding. So we revisited our values, because we had chosen them before children were in the picture. But they still made sense for how our family looked now, so we didn't change them.

Our core values are Glorifying God, Family Togetherness, Lifelong Learning, Hard Work, and Hospitality. As we reviewed them, I was amazed by how a family farm could help us achieve those goals for our family. Yes, we could have valued the same things in our current home, but we could see how a family farm would bring each of our values to the forefront of our everyday life. Suddenly the decision that felt overwhelming, scary, and complicated became simple. If God would provide us a path toward a family farm, we would take it.

About two years ago, we started looking for land. It's been a hard search. I'll be honest, I have high standards. My parents live on one of the most beautiful pieces of property I had ever seen, full of collections of trees, spacious pastures, soft hills, and a serene pond. Ten acres of flat farm land just didn't compare. We also struggled with location. I knew what it was like to live in what everyone considered the boonies (my parents live just outside an established suburb now, but it was certainly the country when I was a child). I wanted to protect my husband from an even longer commute. No matter how hard we searched, we couldn't find the right place at the right price. It was frustrating.

When we first began our search, we asked my parents if they would consider letting us live on their land. They were flattered, but just not ready to tackle the complications of that plan. But as we looked, my heart couldn't move on from it. My connection to my childhood home, the farm I grew up on, only deepened. I realized how much I wanted to not just have a family farm, but have it in that place. It seemed silly to establish something new when my dad already needed help managing his current farm. Why double up? So we asked them to reconsider. Now my dad is a business man and a land developer and a slow thinker. But while we prayed, God got his busy brain churning. I'm not sure how it all happened, but I know it was God. Slowly but surely, my dad figured out a plan. It wasn't going to be easy, but it could work. And the work would be worth it.

So friends, I'm so stinkin' excited to share that we are in the planning process to build a new house on my parents' land. I can't believe the blessing of it. The place I've felt the safest and happiest in the world is going to be my place again. It's going to be the place I raise my boys up. The place I called home will be the place they call home. My boys will get to build a farm not just with their dad, but with their grandpa. How my heart overflows.

When I was a preschooler, I naively proclaimed I was never going to get married. I would just live with my parents the rest of my life and take care of them. Well, friends, that's not exactly how my life went. But I like to think that our new home will allow me both my beautiful family and the opportunity to live in community with my parents and care for them as they grow older. I'm going to have my cake and eat it too.

In all seriousness, I feel like after the hardest season of my life, God is putting me in a season of blessing. It's not a season of ease--there will be plenty of work to do as I finish and promote my book, build our new house, help my husband plan and establish the farm, all while raising 3 toddler/preschool boys--but it is a season of blessing. God is so abundant in his gifts. I still can hardly believe any of it.


Now--does anyone want to buy our (once was) Forever Home? I'm not kidding. It's gorgeous and happy and totally available. I hope it blesses another family the way it blessed us.

Monday, April 4, 2016

Dear Overwhelmed Mommy

Dear Overwhelmed Mommy, I am praying for you. People say you will make it through this season, but it sure doesn't feel like it. Today it feels like endless pressure and  struggling to keep your head above the water.

Dear Overwhelmed Mommy, I am praying for you. Because seasons can feel like prisons or hospitals or psych wards. Because suffering through with grit and determination isn't enough.

Dear Overwhelmed Mommy, I am praying for you. Because I know that while you feel lonely, you aren't ever alone. When you feel like you can't take another step, he is waiting to carry you. When your own weakness never ends, his power begins.

Dear Overwhelmed Mommy, I am praying for you. Because this season will change you. Because you'll never wish it again, but you won't wish it didn’t happen either. Because God will use it to transform you.

Dear Overwhelmed Mommy, I am praying for you. That you will know Jesus better through your suffering. That these endless hours of monotonous, exhausting work will be where your relationship with the Timekeeper and World Builder becomes a connection to your Abba father, your sustainer and helper.

Dear Overwhelmed Mommy, I am praying for you. Because I know God has endless strength to see you through. Because his faithfulness never ends. I know these things because I experienced them too. 

Dear Overwhelmed Mommy, I am praying for you. Because I have been you, and because many days I still am.

Dear Overwhelmed Mommy, may I pray for you?
Leave a comment below or on my Facebook or Instagram and I would love to pray for you by name this week.

I am praying:
  • That your soul will find rest in God alone: Psalm 62:1
  • That you will set your mind on the things of the Spirit and experience life and peace: Romans 8:6
  • That you will experience God's nearness by calling on him: Psalm 145:18
  • That you will receive God's strength from your weakness: 2 Corinthians 12:9-10